TODAY will never be here again

Hello Chickens, I have decided to give you a list of things to do.  I love lists, I especially love making lists including things I've already accomplished, JUST to cross them off vigorously and feel accomplished. What??...you know you do that too!  I decided to share a few things in my life I'm currently getting jiggy with.


1.) The Hunger Games Book Series By: Suzanne Collins.  I love a good book series, since my whole childhood revolved around JK Rowling's watch.  This is a quick and addicting read.  It's about a 4th grade reading level, perfect for those of you who struggle with words and it's going to be a movie (probably in 3-D).

2.) Typing ROTFL : This in of itself is hilarious. I must have missed this whole bandwagon on AIM, because I just heard about it and now find it totally necessary to say in conversions via text and human to human. Example:
Via Text:  "Hey watch out mom, if you don't move your car I'll cut your hair at night to resemble a more manly version if Justin Bieber. ROTFL!"
Via Human or in this case Dog: "much to good for children" while eating steak at dinner as my pooch whines and begs ROTFL

3.) Blogs to read : The Blonde Salad, I love this blog and I'm obsessed with this lil senora

4.) Clean yo narsty Make-up Brushes:  I just learned from a dear dear friend @MelanieSietz, that is it terribly disgusting to not clean your make-up brushes.  She said one must clean a make-up brush once a week with shampoo and warm water to not get acne!  Izz that my problem? Oh shit, not anymore, this morning I tried it out and you should too! GLOW ON NOW!

5.) Forever 21 Shoes: Look fly on the cheap skeet...buy 12 instead on one measly Dolce Vita Boot.

Why hello there are you Frye?  No your made of plastic and cost about as much as my lunch. JOY

Sorry for just ordering you.  It's like Heidi met Thor and they made a warm shoe for me and my epically long stupid winter ahead.

I love electric blue. So hot right meow.

As if it weren't cheap enough, they went and put it on sale yawlzz

These are perfect for every gold diggin' hoe ROTFL

Well Well Well, what do we have here?   This creature looks awesome and terrible all at once = must have ROTFL

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Celebrity Halloween Costumes 2011

I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, but when did Halloween become so intense.  I mean of course I dressed up as a child and did the whole begging for candy with my little mermaid pillowcase (wishful thinking), buttt as I reached the age that it was childish to go even "fake" trick or treating (age 13) Halloween sort of got awkward.  For example, you could roam around the neighbor or in my case a friends neighborhood, terrorizing homes via ding dong ditch and shaving creme wars, but as middle school ended and high school began Halloween kind of didn't exist.  Then, you go to college and Halloween is the greatest thing ever, minus maybe spring weekend or ST pattys day..  However, NOW it seems that Halloween has invaded the high school world...I blame facebook, mean girls, and celebrities.  Facebook shows small children (high schoolers), how much fun college parties are that it's totz cool to dress up like a lil hoe in freezing cold weather and wear assless chaps.  Mean girls basically put Halloween on the map and showed young female adults that women fit in one of two categories....you're either the hoe (sexy bunny, kitty, mouse) that bought your costume from a bag ORRR you're not a hoe (for lack of a better word) and you dress as something funny/scary and you create the costume yourself.  That being said all celebrity's, minus a cool few are the hoe.  Here are some hoes/not hoes dressed for Halloween! 

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.  I am assuming it's Jack and Sally from a Nightmare before Christmas.  Is it wrong I would dress like this everyday?

Tina Fey as Rachel Zoe attacked by Peta! But really, I have no idea what she is?

This girl is def not a hoe; however, I feel strongly that women never dress up as Disney princesses. STRONGLY.

Hiedi Klum: Gorgeous supermodel, actress, tv personnel, AWESOME CHIC.  I feel like I want to be her bestie, shes so cool and loves Halloween and every year she wows me.  Here she is a skinless body WTF?! FREAK

Snickers she's no hoe to me, surprisingly. Although she is a tad stupid and sloppy, girls got some original swagger cred, here she is as herself, wearing her own tanning lotion called SNOOK-n-fry.

Here is a hoe, trying to disguise her hoeness. Like gross, why are you the white swan you insane perve.

HOE : Insert Kardashian divorce joke here __________________________________.   I also feel strongly that no one ever have red hair.

I saw this on tv the other day, so funny. All hoes.

Nahhhhhhhhhh PROLLY NOT



Photo Cred: Us Weekly

HALLOWEEN Edition (armcandy continued)

Let's celebrate one of the greatest pagan holidays to make it past the Catholic Church, HALLOWEEEEN.  Today we celebrate the winter equinox, witches, bitches, and scary arm candy!!!  Get werrrrrid people!

Marc Jacobs Bone Bracelet

Pamela Love Claw Bracelet

Shrinking Bracelet with Skull

A bracelet from India ( Made of human bones=extra creepy)

On any other day of the year I would also recommend wearing these great arm pieces; however, for a more understated look with a cheap price tag visit wanderlust & co.  Also, for more expensive pieces, that are even more awesome google Alkemie Jewelry.

Arm Candy

Ever since I was little I had to have bracelets on my wrists; whether it was a friendship bracelet or a state fair entrance bracelet (True story, I fought my mom for a week to keep the heinous orange paper bracelet on my wrist). I guess that means in a past life I was an Egyptian Queen or Greek Goddess, because even though I was a filthy tom-boy I had street style on my trendy little wrists.

To achieve arm candy one must:
1.) NOT wear a david yurman bracelet, this does not count as arm candy, because if everyone has it you lose your pizazz factor.
2.) Whether your in debt or have a trust fund you can have arm candy.  If your rich no wrist is complete without a few Hermes bracelets and the Cartier love bracelet.  If you're poor like me, make your own bracelets with things like string, beads, and hemp (they are cheaper and usually give your more creative cred).
3.) I think arm candy looks best when you mix your h&m/forever21 bracelets, home-made bracelets, and more expensive bracelets all together to make the perfect look.
4.) Add a watch preferably gold or my latest obsession, rose gold to your arm candy (all the trendy JAPs are wearing brands like Michael Kors, MJ, and Michele so you should too!)
5.) DIY remember all those stupid bracelets you made at summer camp?  Well know all that hard work/practice can get put to the test. 

Photo cred: disappear here

the inbetween

Photo cred: National Geography, @vickidellarusso, unknown

Book Worm

Every summer I lifeguard and that usually means a lot of free time while working.  I should explain that my job is no normal working environment, I am surrounded by 15 awesome humans, most of whom are my best friends. We're usually hungover from some terrorist attack that we caused at ,The Ruck (local dive bar) the night before. I digress, I usually have a lot of free time, when I'm not laughing from hangover delirium or bitching about how someone copied my mega original Victoria secret bathing suit; that's when I read.  I read tons of book in the summer and never watch tv, (except Trueblood) because when you find a good book not even The Real Housewives of New Jersey can pull you away.  I understand that in our inherently stupid, ADD society, no one believes in the power of the book anymore, unless their on your trendy ipad or kindle.  So, here are some of my favorite books of all time; I must warn you that my book taste, like my music taste, tends to be depressing and sort of 90's.

1.) I Know This Much Is True By: Wally Lamb  .
2.) The Glass Castle By: Jennette Walls 
3.) Apologize apologize By: Elizabeth Kelly
4.) A Million Little Piece By; James Frey
5.) White Oleander By: Janet Finch
6.) Harry Potter 1-7
7.) The Highest Tide By: Jim Lynch
8.) To Kill a Mockingbird by: Harper Lee  ( I felt obligated to put this out of the cult following this book has)
9.) The Divine Comedy ( Inferno) By; Dante Alighieri
10.) Mudbound By: Hilary Jordon
11.) Skylight Confessions By: Alice Hoffman


Since I'm that terrible person that judges a book by the cover, feast your eyes on the greatness off all these books covers.